You need to get OUT of bed.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but turn off the news. Move your body, read a book and write down 3 things that you’re thankful for.

Long time no blog post, right?
With everything thats going on right now, I have a lot of free time.. So welcome back to my little corner of the internet..

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This is going to be really badly written and i’m probably going to blabber on and repeat myself too..

It’s impossible for you not to have seen anything about CONVID-19 on social media, the news, papers, it’s everywhere.

I’m used to working 3 jobs and constantly being on the go, but yesterday was day one of self isolation – and yesterday i had a really, really unproductive day, and i’ll be clear about it – I felt like shit.

I’m all for a Netflix and chill day on a day off.  I LOVE Netflix, and one of my friends just introduced me to Amazon prime movie wise too (even with being a prime ambassador i’d never used it, didn’t even think to look – I know, awful rep!)

I had a pretty productive weekend, but yesterday I was in a rut. I was bored.
I totally understand why self isolation is so important – I have graves disease, so I’m high risk but thought i’d been doing what I needed to do to keep myself and people around me safe – I was totally wrong.

So after my entire day in bed yesterday or just around my bedroom i was bored, fed up and overthinking. (Luckily i have people in my life that help me get out of the rut, check on your friends.. it’s important).

I guess what i’m trying to say is, it’s okay to spend days watching TV, Netflix, Play games, but you need to be productive and not fall into a bad place.

I went to bed in the worst mood last night but woke up to a handful of messages including puppy videos, “morning angel” messages and other messages telling me to stay safe – and it completely changed my mindset.
It’s so easy to fall into a rut, it doesn’t mean your lazy, but in my opinion, if you can stay active, you should. I’m not talking about meeting up with friends, or going out when you don’t need to.

Just try some of these ideas:

  • Get out of bed
  • Shower
  • Eat breakfast / Lunch
  • Read a book
  • Watch TV / Netflix
  • Start a Blog ( I can help with this!)
  • Clean your wardrobe (If you know me, you know full well this is a last resort for me..)
  • Cook
  • Learn to Bake
  • Read Blogs – a lot goes into a blog you know? When was the last time you read something instead of watching it on youtube?
  • Search Hashtags on instagram for things you’re interested in – you’ll be amazed how much comes up.
  • Make a mood board – I love a mood board.
  • Talk to your friends.
  • Play games – Xbox, Ps4, Switch – or like me, good old Sims..
  • Meal Prep
  • Home work outs
  • Make a Music Play list
  • Board games
  • Learn an online course
  • Colour! – When was the last time you coloured in for no reason?
  • Go for a walk – WITH Social distancing
  • Work on the garden
  • Support a small business
  • Call a friend
  • Write a list of things to do when you’re feeling better
  • Stay Hydrated

You just NEED to get out of bed.

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It’s okay to be scared, to be anxious, to be uncertain. Lets be honest, nobody knows whats going on right now.

Try managing your anxiety –

  • Avoid excessive exposure to media coverage
  • Connect trough calls, internet, texts.
  • Add Extra time for daily stress relief.
  • Practise self care*

Create a self care routine –

  • Get out of bed
  • Shower
  • Pick an outfit
  • Eat – Remember to eat.
  • Drink water
  • Skincare
  • Keep a diary

Everyone is in exactly the same boat of uncertainty. I’d do anything to see my friends and family right now, but I also realise that that could very easily put me into hospital – and let’s be honest; That isn’t fair on anyone.

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It’s okay if it takes time to make sense of all of this. We can ALL do something to help – we can stay at home.

 B xo 

Hello 2020!

I’m so late aren’t I? – Late, The story of my life..

I swear so many people said to me “Oh January will be quiet for you, you’re self employed” ..Well NO! It’s the total opposite! It’s busier than ever (which i’m not complaining about) and i’m still not sleeping..

It’s that time of the year where you get to say goodbye to all the bad mistakes and you get to basically “leave” things and situations in last year; and I for one, am SO EXCITED to do this!

I don’t usually celebrate the New Year, as i personally don’t see the big deal, woohoo, we reached another January 1st and it’s almost my birthday which means i’m about to be even closer to 30..

2019 has been so up and down and i’ve lost people i never thought i’d lose, but it turns out, that actually – thats been a blessing. When you stop seeing people so regularly and stop helping them and putting them first, it shows who actually cares about you and who doesn’t.

2019 meant 2 New Jobs, one working for myself and one joining a brand new team that i was absolutely terrified about, but all i’ve had is support on both sides for both jobs and i honestly couldn’t work with better people.

Quitting a full time job you’ve been at for 5+ years to start your own business and then start a part time job and join a brand new team could have gone so badly, but it didn’t it went the absolute opposite, it’s gone amazingly.

I’ve learnt so many new things this year including how to back myself properly – and that even sometimes, I don’t need to back myself because i’m now with people that will defend me in a room that i’m not in.

I’ve also learnt that I come first. If i’m in a situation i’m not happy in, i’m leaving.
I thank everyone thats ever come into my life for teaching me my worth and reminding me that i always deserve better.

2020 is full of WEEKLY (i know, shocking right?!) Blog posts, Vlogs and growing my insta – BasicBee and working on nobody else but me.

I want to try more of a plant based diet, 4/7 days a week to start with – drink more water, sleep better and actually go out and not just try and nap every spare second I get.

I’m excited to take a step back, explore, try new things and focus on my little corner of the internet.

Thanks for being so patient, 2019 wasn’t a great year for my blog, but I’m so excited to rebrand and refresh!

Bees xo 

Midnight Blog Post #1 – 2020 is MY selfish year.

It’s weird isn’t it? When we take our make-up off, put our hair in that bun, get PJ’s on and climb into bed ready to sleep – and then your mind goes into overdrive.

Every. Single. Night. 

They say this happens more when you watch TV, or if you’re on electronics, but who knows whats true and what isn’t in 2019..

So, after being diagnosed with anxiety months ago and insomnia this week, it’s clearly time to start my new midnight blog idea – because lets be honest here – I’m not going to go to sleep, so we may as well make this entire thing productive and useful right?

I have absolutely no idea what these themes or subjects are going to be, literally, whatever pops into my head if i’m wide awake. – So these will either go fab, or be absolutely awful, but hey! Let’s see I guess?!

So here goes –

Scrolling through instagram (as usual) I came across this quote –

“Next Year I’m Being Selfish. This Years Made Me Realise That Being Too Nice To People Gets You No Where In This Life.”

True or false statement? – Is it okay to become more selfish?

If i’ve learnt anything over the last few weeks it’s that the answer is absolutely yes. I’ve learnt how important it is to put yourself FIRST. Stand your ground and have your own back. Grow within yourself and just learn to say NO.

Quit the friends who don’t make time for you. Quit the family thats only family through blood and not love. Quit the job, the relationships, Quit anything that doesn’t make you feel 100%. No one deserves to feel like they’re not needed. If someone can’t see your worth, LEAVE.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with leaving something that doesn’t help you grow, keeps you happy, or anything that doesn’t respect you.

I have so much to look forward to in 2020, my business and my blog are both growing, i’m moving house (they’ll be lots of home posts on my insta @BasicBee) I’m starting to cook again more and looking to travel again. I’ve signed so many deals with new people for 2020 and I honestly can’t wait to get started.

Don’t get me wrong, leaving stuff behind is HARD, I for one cannot handle change in the slightest, I don’t like it, I can’t handle it and I personally avoid it at all costs. I guess now i’ve realised that change isn’t always a bad thing and sometimes change is for the better.

Everyone always says “New Year, New Me” and I always thought that was one of the cheesiest things i’ve ever read or listened to, but now I kind of get it. You need to take 2020 as a new year and a new start, buy a diary, realise that it really is a blank book and you can do whatever you want to do.

It’s amazing how much you can realise in a short amount of time and after talking to some amazing people this weekend I can honestly say i’m tired, and i’m so ready for a change.

Bees xo 

Why do so many young women refuse to call themselves a feminist?

Feminism

/ˈfɛmɪnɪz(ə)m/
noun: feminism 

The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes
Similar:
The women’s movement
The feminist movement
Women’s liberation
Heyyy,
Welcome back to my little corner of the internet..
Before I start – this is NOT an anti-male blog post, I have so so much respect for males in my life especially family, friends and people that I work with.. So if you’re here for an anti-male post, click off boo and don’t waste your time reading..
Did you know that fewer than one in five young women would call themselves a feminist?
Over the last couple of weeks i’ve followed loads of new accounts on instagram – ( @BasicBee ) and i’ve come to realise that what I thought was a feminist over the last 6+ years, isn’t actually a feminist at all..
There’s so many different types of feminism :
  • Liberal Feminism.”Liberal feminism is an individualistic form of feminist theory, which focuses on women’s ability to maintain their equality through their own actions and choices.”
  • Radical Feminism.”Radical feminism is a perspective within feminism that calls for a radical reordering of society in which male supremacy is eliminated in all social and economic contexts. Radical feminists view society as fundamentally a patriarchy in which men dominate and oppress women.”
  • Marxist and Socialist Feminism.“Socialist feminism is a two-pronged theory that broadens Marxist feminism‘s argument for the role of capitalism in the oppression of women and radical feminism‘s theory of the role of gender and the patriarchy.”
  • Cultural Feminism.”Cultural feminism, the view that there is a “female nature” or “female essence”, attempts to revalue and redefine attributes ascribed to femaleness. It is also used to describe theories that commend innate differences between women and men.”
  • Eco-Feminism.”Ecofeminism is a branch of feminism that sees environmentalism, and the relationship between women and the earth, as foundational to its analysis and practice. Ecofeminist thinkers draw on the concept of gender to analyse the relationships between humans and the natural world.”
  • I-Feminism ( The new wave of feminism)”Ifeminists, or individualist feminists, say that the feminist slogan “a woman’s body, a woman’s right” should extend to every peaceful choice a woman can make.Ifeminists believe that freedom and diversity benefit women, whether or not the choices that particular women make are politically correct. They respect all sexual choices, from motherhood to porn.

    As the cost of freedom, ifeminists accept personal responsibility for their own lives. They do not look to government for privileges any more than they would accept government abuse. Ifeminists want legal equality, and they offer the same respect to men.

    In short, ifeminism calls for freedom, choice, and personal responsibility.”

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Growing up, I won’t lie,  I always thought feminist were people that burnt bras and were very anti-men.. But this is purely because of what i’d seen in the media.

Having the chance to read up on things myself, it turns out I couldn’t be more wrong.

Although there is extremists, theres also so much that makes total sense to me, but before reading up on this i’d never have called myself a feminist.

Since 2016 (Which just happens to be when Donald Trump became President of the United States, but hey, coincidence right?) more and more movements that support feminism have come to light and people are a lot more open about being a feminist.

Online movements have also gained momentum. Actress Alyssa Milano suggested that anyone who had been “sexually harassed or assaulted” should reply to her Tweet with “#MeToo”, resurrrecting a movement started by activist Tarana Burke in 2006.

Half a million responded in the first 24 hours with the hashtag #MeToo and the hashtag has been used in more than 80 countries.

With the #MeToo hashtag and the #everydaysexism hashtag trending regularly, this has massively helped to bring feminism to mainstream attention – and to show what feminism is really about.

Even this time last year, I always thought feminists we’re very in peoples faces, pushed their opinions on people and basically hated men and I just didn’t really think I had time for it, but it’s amazing how much can change in a year once you educate yourself.

I would never call myself a feminist because I feared they would be associated with these traits.

So, how could the image of feminism be improved? How can females be proud of supporting feminism?

Arguably, as a society we should do more to challenge narrowly defined expectations of how women should look and act.

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Working harder to make this movement more inclusive could mean that feminism speaks to the experiences and concerns of diverse groups of women.

But at the end of the day whichever label women choose to have on themselves, the indication that the vast majority of people now support equality – and acknowledge it has not yet been achieved – is pretty heartbreaking.

Feminism has changed massively in the last 10 years and if you read up on it, it’s actually really interesting. It isn’t just men VS women anymore – I have so many men in my life that i respect and look up to, and over the last year they’ve had my back no matter what –

Men aren’t the problem & it isn’t fair to put all men in the same category. Feminism isn’t about being better than men, it’s about being equal. Equal rights, equal pay and everyones opinion being listened to.

Supporting feminism is nothing to be ashamed of and you should always stand up for what you believe in. Whether thats having kids, not having kids, wearing that short skirt, wearing that maxi dress, walking where you want, when you want without being shouting at. It’s your life and your body, so stand up for everything that you believe in – and you do you boo.

 Bees xo 

You Need A Healthy Dash Of Sass..

Hey Guys,

Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.
Has anyone else found 2019 to just be a bit blah? There is no other way to describe it.
I’ve done so much new stuff, started new work, but i’ve hardly traveled and I feel like not having a break from people and situations has left me in a weird kind of well, just a weird feeling really?

I’ve completely lost my confidence to blog too. It’s only in the last week or so i’ve started posting to instagram a lot more again too. It’s taken a lot but i’ve come to realise that instagram isn’t real life.

I spoke to a few people about this. When you have a slight following a lot of companies contact you to work with you, but before you know it your feed and life is taken over with posting what they want you to post for profit, instead of posting what you want to post yourself – and basically keeping your posts and account about you.
I see loads of different accounts that post such a mixture of things that completely contradict one another – I refuse this and reject a lot of posts purely because if I don’t believe in a product or don’t actually like it myself, I won’t post it.

Lets be honest though, it’s not just online. I think i’m just in a bit of a rut in general. Not a lot has happened but at the same time this year has been completely new and a lot has happened – work that out?!

I’ve lost people I thought would always be around and i’ve been blamed for things to make other people feel better about themselves. People have come for me that I never thought would, and I never would come for them – but after all of this I can honestly say i’m more wary about every single person in my life and I know who i do and who i don’t want to be around and who I don’t need around me.

I’ve learnt I need to back myself a lot more, I don’t need to be a bitch but in this industry i need to have my own back and back the people around me. I need to have a healthy dash of sass to be a female in this city.

I’m not really sure where i was going with this blog post, but i know it was time to post – and i’m glad I have. This is probably the shortest and quickest blog post but it was still worth it.

2020 is going to be my year. New blog, New Work, New House, New Life, Traveling more, settling down and living for myself and having a brand new start.

– And I am SO excited for this!

Bees xo 

You’re Dumped!

Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.. How’s life? I’m currently away for a couple of days and I feel like i’m getting back into blogging, posting and basically – getting my interest back in things that I actually want to do; and not just doing things i’ve been told to do, or working all the time.
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It’s safe to say (and pretty obvious from my lack of posts) that i’ve lost my blogging motivation. Every time I write or post I’m always like “Yeah, I’ve missed this, i’m totally going to start doing this weekly again”.. But then life gets in the way.

I’ve had what can only be described as one of the worst yet best years of my life so far, since January.

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Work wise, it’s amazing – I wouldn’t change a thing, both my little studio and event work are going incredible and I feel blessed on a daily basis… But personal wise? It couldn’t be more of the opposite.

I had a few what can only be described as “Shit” weeks / months, which I was pretty open about on my Instagram ( http://www.instagram.com/basicbee ) – And i’m not going to lie, although it’s been shit, I’ve realised who are and aren’t my friends and i’m finally feeling completely different about the situation now –

Since January i’ve realised my “circle” is a lot smaller now – and i’m absolutely fine with this. I find myself thinking that i’m missing out on things because i’m working, but actually, i’m not?

I’ll be the first to admit that i’m not the perfect friend, nor a perfect person – I make mistakes, i’m a human being.

..But I have little people following my every move now – and I’m someone they look up to & as much as I don’t want to admit it, I learn A LOT from my big sister about stuff like this.

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The last 9 months have pushed me beyond measure and i’m sad but honest enough to admit that i’ve let some people down. Some friendships have flourished and some have completely disappeared with not even a word said to one another now.

I’ve learnt that people that I thought were my friends probably weren’t even my friends to begin with. It’s pretty common knowledge that I was in a horrible relationship for 9-10 months around 3 years ago. I had two of what can only be described as the most amazing people on the planet supporting me to get out of that. Yet because of Chinese whispers and he said, she said, I no longer speak to either of them. One of them doesn’t deserve my time – and quite frankly, never did.. And the other? He decided to use what he knew against me.
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I’m 28 years old, my life isn’t a playground.. (And what you post on the internet and instagram isn’t always real life, but this is for another post..)

I learnt a lot because of this..

  • I learnt that sometimes people aren’t what they seem and people are going to let you down.  – It’s life, I sat for so long being more upset with this person than the entire situation altogether.
  • Don’t always be the person that tries to keep in touch with people. If they cared – they’d make the effort too. It takes 30 seconds to send a text.
  • Don’t break yourself for other people.
    I’ll drive hours to see my friendship group in Essex, i’d never change that for the world. I absolutely love my little breaks away with them. Yet theres people down the road that I don’t keep in touch with that I was once so close to.
  • Competition isn’t needed.
    If you’re doing good your friends should be cheering for you – and vice versa. You should be your friends biggest cheerleader and number one support.
    Don’t steel each others spot light, theres room for everyone.
  • The unsaid will fester.
    Be open with one another!
    Although saying this – This doesn’t mean you can be a complete dick to people.
    If somethings bothering you think about it before speaking up – Sometimes it’s just not worth the argument.
    Are you still going to be mad about this in 24 hours time?
  • Not every situation requires a response from you, save your breath, sometimes people’s ego’s are too big to realise what they’ve done in a situation when the blame is on them.

I’ve learnt a lot in the last 6-9 months. I can honestly say that i’ve put my trust in the wrong people. I didn’t believe in ghosting people before but now I do. My intention would never be to be nasty but I do believe everyone deserves time to think about their behaviour and actions.

I’m very open about the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve but that doesn’t mean that i’ll just forgive and forget.

The last few months i’ve made it pretty clear about who I want and need in my life, and i’ve come to realise that I’d rather have less friends than loads of friends that turn out to not have my back.

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I haven’t got my life together, not even slightly, and i’ll admit i’m kind of lost at the moment too!
But for all of the drama and losing myself over the last few months, my motivation being in the wrong places and my confidence being shattered –

I’m done and I’m back.. Bees 2.0? Who knows!

I guess what i’m trying to say is all the negative bits over the last however long –

I want to forgive you – and I want to forget you..

You’re Dumped!

B x 

“Obese mannequins are selling women a dangerous lie or Nike’s ‘obese’ mannequins are inspirational” – Which side are you on?

What is even going on today?

Stop the world, I want to get off…

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Thats right, the first part of blog post title is word for word.. that’s one of the main stories in The Telegraph today.

Writer (I’m calling her a writer because she doesn’t deserve to be called a journalist – although I can think of relevant other names for her at this moment in time) Tanya Gold decided to write an article body shaming NIKE and their new sports range as the gym clothing is modelled on a Size 16 mannequin.

“I fear that the war on obesity is lost, or has even, as is fashionable, ceased to exist, for fear of upsetting people into an early grave. Nike Inc, the multinational company named after the Greek goddess of victory, has introduced plus-sized mannequins to its flagship store in London to “celebrate the diversity and inclusivity of sport”. They wear the famous Nike tick, which says: welcome to the mainstream.

Yet the new Nike mannequin is not size 12, which is healthy, or even 16 – a hefty weight, yes, but not one to kill a woman. She is immense, gargantuan, vast. She heaves with fat.

She is, in every measure, obese, and she is not readying herself for a run in her shiny Nike gear. She cannot run. She is, more likely, pre-diabetic and on her way to a hip replacement. What terrible cynicism is this on the part of Nike?”

I’m so confused by this? It’s hard enough to find gym clothes for myself that i’m comfortable in and my size varies from a UK size 6 to a UK size 10.. So hats off to NIKE for making sure there is something for everyone.. Right?

Well Tanya continues in her article by saying..

I would never want a woman to hate herself for what she finds in the looking-glass. But to have control over your body you must first know it; to be oblivious is not to be happy, unless you are a child. The fat-acceptance movement, which says that any weight is healthy if it is yours, is no friend to women, even if it does seem to have found a friend in Nike. It may, instead, kill them, and that is rather worse than feeling sad. Fat-acceptance is an artifice of denial – they are fat because they do not accept themselves – and a typically modern solution to a problem, if you are a narcissist. It says: there is no problem. Or if there is, it’s yours, not mine. As soothing as that may be to hear, your organs and your skeleton will not agree.”

Oh.. Some more from Tanya’s article..

The word “fat” should not be a slur. But it should be a warning. So, it worries me to see Nike, who promote athleticism, treating the obese model as potentially healthy in the cause of profit. It is as cruel as telling women that the child ballet dancer and the porn body are ideal. Where is the body shape between the tiny and the immense, which is where true health lives? Where is the ordinary, medium, contented woman? Where, oh where, is the middle ground?”

Hold on, Hold on, Hold on..

I’m confused.. if someone is going into NIKE (My Yoga pants were £48, they’re not going there to waste money) They’re going in for a reason. How exactly do you expect people to lose weight and work out without gym clothes? What do you want them to do? Work out at home? Hide away? Not work out? I’m confused, is anyone above a size 10 not allowed to wear gym clothes anymore? What is advertised on that model and mannequin is Gym Clothing.

So Tanya what exactly were you attempting to achieve from your article? Your body shaming women if they’re above a size 12, You’re having ago at NIKE and shaming them for finally having some Gym Clothing that can fit Plus sized people so they can go to the gym – be healthier and feel better about themselves and maybe even lose weight whilst they’re there.

All Tanya’s article has done is shown what a massive hypocrite she is – She is body and “fat” shaming larger women.. and also shaming a huge company for making sure that there is gym clothing that could help ALL women feel comfortable in the gym?

Find me any other brand that openly promotes sizes to fit all – and not just models that look like they’ve already lived in the gym for the last year or 2?

It’s a no win situation here..

I HATE going to the gym, I find it absolutely terrifying especially because it’s so easy to think that everyones looking at you even if they aren’t..

I’m so disappointed in Tanya’s article and even the fact that The Telegraph thought it was acceptable to post.. AND The fact it’s even written by a women, for some reason makes me even more annoyed and I find it even worse.

Body positivity is something I strongly believe in, maybe more than most as a someone recovering from an ED.

Plus it’s 2019 – We should be celebrating the beauty in everybody.

Here’s Tanya’s full article – https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/obese-mannequins-selling-women-dangerous-lie/

And heres Rebecca Reid’s article – a come back to Tanya’s and something that should actually be posted – https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/exercise-isnt-just-thin-people-nikes-obese-mannequins-inspirational/?li_source=LI&li_medium=li-recommendation-widget 

What are your thoughts?

Bees xo 

I am unfortunately all Panic and no Disco..

I’ve said it before; and i’ll say it again.. Don’t treat yourself worse than you would treat a best friend.
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Long time no blog post right? Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.

Between work, illness, change (we all know I don’t like change) and just being ridiculously busy – It’s time for some “ME” time and some time to focus on myself and things i like doing – which is my blog.

Sometimes when people ask me what i’m doing today, on my day off and I reply “nothing” it doesn’t mean i’m free. It means i’m having a me day, and i’m doing nothing.

I’ve had a really rocky few months since Christmas with lots of huge changes and theres people i’m close to that have absolutely no idea and half of me likes it that way; the other half? I’m not so sure..
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I was sat in hospital on Wednesday having what felt like 5334 tests and thinking “Me a year ago would be sat here with my MacBook blogging. Not sitting here wasting my time scrolling through Instagram”.
As much as I LOVE Instagram I find myself wasting so much time on it watching things that are totally irrelevant that I won’t even remember in 24 hours. Plus it’s only natural to judge yourself when looking on instagram at all the “perfect profiles” which can sometimes make you feel worse than you already do..

Anyway, without getting even more sidetracked..

So!..Lets talk about ANXIETY.

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It’s 2019 and it feels as though every mum, dad, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, cousin thats been twice removed, dog, cat and tortoise has been “Diagnosed” with Anxiety.. But how many of them actually have?

Probably a lot.. Lets be honest. Things have changed from 5 years ago to now massively. You judge yourself every chance you get, more people are stressing at School, Uni and Work and Basically what is screwing us up the most is the picture in our head of how life is supposed to be.

Anxiety isn’t feeling a little nervous about something, or being a little worried.. Anxiety is simply.. Horrible.
Simply is definitely the wrong word to use here, as Anxiety is anything but simple..

When I was diagnosed with anxiety I laughed at my doctor. Me? The person that can stand in front of 2000 people on stage.. Anxious? Not a chance, it’s got to be something else.. Right?

Then the feelings came out more, the lack of sleep, the insomnia, I don’t think many people understand – You can be the most confident person in the world, but anxiety is still very real. Everyone has different ways of dealing with anxiety – I scratch my hand or fiddle with something like a bobble on my wrist or play with my hair.
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Anxiety is like a cycle –

  1. Anxious Mess
  2. Therapy and Self Care
  3. Hey! I’m feeling pretty okay actually!
  4. Wait, I’m feeling too good.. This is suspicious..
  5. Something terrible is going to happen.. Any. Minute. NOW..
  6. …And then we’re back to “Anxious Mess” at number one.
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Anxiety comes in so many different forms. Do you know if your closest friends and people you see daily have anxiety? It’s not just being a little nervous about something, it could be:

  • Cancelling plans at the last minute.
  • Believing they are a burden to everyone
  • Eating all the time or not at all
  • Mood swings that could last hours, or even days
  • Being emotionally distant
  • Constantly needing reassurance that they are still loved or haven’t “messed anything up”
  • Isolating themselves to protect others.
  • Frequent crying or melt downs
  • Having an outburst over something others may consider to be “small”.
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How can you recognise Anxiety in yourself? This can be really difficult but a few signs are:

  • Over thinking
  • avoidance
  • sweating
  • stomach issues
  • panic attacks
  • Needing reassurance
  • Procrastination
  • Trouble breathing
  • Headaches
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Insomnia
  • Memory Issues

But more common signs of Anxiety could be – 

  • Feeling nervous, restless or tense
  • Having a sense of danger or panic
  • Having an increased heart rate
  • Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Feeling weak or tired
  • Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry.
  • Having trouble sleeping
  • Having difficulty controlling worry
  • Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety.

Plus did you know Several types of anxiety disorders exist? It isn’t that if you have anxiety, you’re the exact same as the girl down the street with it too. Theres so many different types..:

  • Agoraphobia
  • Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition
  • Generalized anxiety disorder
  • Panic disorder
  • Selective mutism
  • Separation anxiety disorder
  • Social anxiety disorder (social phobia)
  • Specific phobias
  • Substance-induced anxiety disorder
  • Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder

Enough with the bullet points.. RIGHT?! Well, Nearly!

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After Christmas and during Easter I was at my absolutely worst. Confused and pretty much lost, with a constant fear of getting replaced. I lost friends including one of my best friends and i’m pretty sure they have no idea. I guess thats life though isn’t it? You grow apart from people, it’s normal – but how normal is normal?
I hadn’t slept in 5 days, only got up for work and spent the rest of my time in bed or out keeping myself busy.  After getting to 7 days with 4 hours sleep I went back to the doctor about other health problems (again coming in a new post) and he re-diagnosed me with severe anxiety. Nothing had changed, not really? I’d dropped some people that were making no effort with me, realised other people weren’t worth my time and then realised that this was it – How could I spend time with people and like people if I didn’t even Like myself?

So last week, I threw myself into work, went for walks, put my phone down more, did things I wanted to do and it helped massively. I didn’t want any other medication that would make me feel like a zombie – everyone has ways of dealing with stuff and this wasn’t mine.

  • Exercise. Exercise is one of the most important things you can do to combat stress.
  • Get a diary.
  • Make a routine.
  • Consider Supplements.
  • Light a Candle.
  • Reduce Your Caffeine Intake.
  • Write It Down.
  • Chew Gum.
  • Spend Time With Friends and Family.
  • Laugh.
  • Cuddle.
  • Learn a New Hobby or Class.
  • Learn to avoid procrastination.
  • And what I think is most important, personally:
  • Learn to Say “NO!”

  • Not all stressors are within your control, but some are.
  • Take control over the parts of your life that you can change and are causing you stress or pain.
  • One way to do this may be to say “no” more often.
  • This is especially true if you find yourself taking on more than you can handle, as juggling too many responsibilities can leave you feeling overwhelmed.
  • Being selective about what you take on and reduce your stress levels.
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Heres a few of my favourite Instagram profiles when i’m having an off day –

@Wonderful_u 
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@Wonderful_u – Meg is amazing, she does daily stories on her instagram and involves her two puppies Rue and Murphie. She is always really positive and an amazing person to follow. She’s really down to earth and her instagram proves she’s a normal person not your usual Instagrammer that pretends to lead their perfect life too fool everyone. Meg is genuine and lovely.

@CGBlackburn
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@CGBlackburn – Chloe’s a make-up artist, I know right? Just hear me out – She’s not your usual instagram makeup artist – She’s amazing! Chloe runs events to help raise awareness for mental health. She’s constantly on instagram regardless of having a full time job as a MUA and is always so positive – plus she’s obsessed with Harry Potter… So thats always an extra winner right? She’s an amazing and down to earth person to follow.

@BeckyExcell 
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@BeckyExcell – Becky is a gluten free food blogger that creates recipes and loves to travel. There’s been a few times i’ve been too nervous to travel or even eat – and i’ve flicked through her instagram and it’s really helped!

@Alyserurianidesign
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@Alyserurianidesign – Someone else had posted Alyse’s designs from their own account so i’ve only just started to follow her personally pretty recently. She does drawings and illustrations for mental health awareness and her designs are amazing. Check her out!

These 4 won’t disappoint!

We’re coming to the end of the post now – so i’ll finally shut up – but honestly, If you’re feeling anxious go see a doctor, I learnt the hard way – This doesn’t make you weak this makes you stronger. And Sometimes, self-care is giving yourself permission to have a bad day.

And if the price is your health? Don’t do it. I learnt this the hard way too.

“Never give up on someone with a mental illness. When “I” Is replaced by “WE” Illness becomes Wellness. – Shannon L. Alder.

Here’s a question – have you checked in with your loved ones lately? 

Bees xo 

 

5 Things I’ve Learnt About Friendship.

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I make mistakes – I am not, and have never claimed to be the perfect friend or person.

This week I can openly admit i’ve ran away 150+ miles from confrontation, awkwardness and situations I simply do not want or wish to be in.

The last 12 months have pushed me beyond anything i’ve experienced before, with a change of jobs, health, personal reasons etc – and I can honestly say and I am sad to admit that i’ve let people down in that time. Some friendships have changed and become stronger, some have gone and won’t be returning and some probably could be fixed with effort from both parties.

Just before Christmas I left my job to start a new chapter and to work for myself full time & I joined another team in a similar industry to what my full time job was – but part time, and I honestly couldn’t be happier.

I now work for myself full time as a hairdresser, beautician and make-up artist. In January and over Christmas i was really scared about building a client base etc – but i’ve been so busy and i’m finally really enjoying myself and i keep asking myself why I didn’t do this sooner.

It’s crazy to say it, but in the last 2-3 months i’ve grown up more than i have in the last 6 years and i’ve realised a lot – and sadly some of the things i’ve realised falls under categories of losing friends and giving up on people – something i’ve always taken pride in myself on never doing before now.

Here’s 5 things i’ve learnt about friendship in the last few months. 

  1. Boundaries are important – I’ve realised more now than before, It’s okay to say no.
    Just because I have my kit with me – this doesn’t mean i want to cut your hair or do your brows unpaid after my dinner. Don’t get me wrong, theres exceptions (like my sister in law living 50+ miles away, I WANT to do her nails on a Sunday, or my mom needing a trim, or even my niece and nephews)  but everyone deserves a switch off time. How would you feel if I started asking you to work for free straight after a meal, or if i’ve come to your house to chill, or for a week away – and you’re diving into my kit to use it OR making me feel awkward for saying no to doing your make-up for you – It’s my job, it’s my trade – you don’t work 24 hours a day, so why should I?
  2. Trust and Competition –
    Trust – I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am very gullible – I will always trust someones intentions from the get go. Seeing the good in people makes me happy and for the most part it always ends up okay. However, on a fair few occasions, i’ve put my trust in the wrong people. Not everyone has as much honesty as you and failing to see this at the start does not make you a bad person – it makes you human. It can hurt to to realise someone isn’t in it for the same reasons you are,  but for me the answer will never be to put a wall up, it will be to learn that some people don’t have the same kind of heart as you do – and thats okay… but once the trust is gone, it could well be gone for good.
    Competition – Competition is healthy, bragging how much better your life is then your friends is not. Don’t be a dick – it really isn’t hard.
  3. The Unsaid will always be in the back of your mind – Blood really is thicker than water. You can think someone has your back and is out to help you, but when you leave or stop seeing these people, it’s very easy to see you were there for one reason and one reason only – because you were useful to them. Always remember 9/10 times you’re replaceable – so put yourself first. People will be your ‘best friend’ until you’re replaced or until they don’t need you anymore. 9/10 times people are out for themselves – as soon as they don’t need stuff that benefits them or free stuff from you – they’ll forget to invite you to things and use an excuse that it’s everyone else’s fault.. Bin these people.
  4. Learn to manage yourself – I am stubborn, Strong willed and i like to always be right – This doesn’t always go well and I can come across as a bitch. I’ve learnt to try to explain situations and hearing both sides before getting upset and going OTT on someone and hopefully we can find a middle ground. This doesn’t always work – sometimes it’s easier to walk away and ghost someone. This isn’t “childish” it’s thinking about the situation and giving it a few days. Sometimes this can hurt the other person even more – never ignore someone and make sure people know you’re here for them even when you’re ghosting them. No one deserves to be alone.
  5. Friendship is not about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it. – That explains itself really doesn’t it? I’ve got friends i’ve known my entire life that I wouldn’t replace for the world – and i’ve also got friends i’ve known a few months that are now more like family to me then friends i’ve been close to for 6+ years. It really is quality over quantity..

I never thought i’d say it, but sometimes new starts really are for the best. Theres no rule that says if you walk away from a friendship you’re a bad person – Friendships have ups and downs – life isn’t simple. We all do things we shouldn’t and we all wonder how things could have been better or gone differently. We don’t need to spend time day dreaming when actually, things could just be better right now. Friendships are born from so many different circumstances and they’re really not ALL meant to last – You deserve the happiness you want.

Bees xo 

What 2018 Taught Me.

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So! I’ve been here there and every everywhere in the last few months of 2018. I was changing jobs, building a hair and make-up studio, finally seeing my friends more and traveling at every opportunity I had (New York blog post coming soon).
I started a Vlog, My own business and got the all clear from a tumour on my Thyroid gland.

They’ll also be loads more blog posts this year – purely because i actually have the time now.

Although this all sounds positive, I learnt A LOT in 2018 and some of it is negative.

One of my best friends Beth has just started a blog herself and I couldn’t be more proud of her ( http://simplybeth99home.wordpress.com ) go take a look at her blog, her first blog is where i got the idea for this blog post from – and on a totally unbiased basis – she’s honestly amazing.

But yeah, sidetracking again – here’s 10 things 2018 taught me.

1. “Dear You, busy, weary, tired you. Please know that the world won’t stop spinning if you take a break.. It’s about finding a balance, a bit of give and take. 
You can’t move mountains every day, some days are just a little grey.
So, this is your reminder.. You can’t do it all – Please take a step back before you fall.”

After it taking so long to diagnose me with *graves disease* I spent my summer pretty down so chucked myself into my blog, numerous different jobs and work, purely to keep myself busy. I learnt slowly (and the hard way) that graves disease isn’t a joke – if I say i need a rest, it’s because I need a rest. If i admit i’m tired – I need to sleep.
– It’s okay to take a time out if you need it. Despite what anyone else says or how anyone else makes you feel.

*Graves Disease* – Hyperthyroidism or overactive thyroid, is a condition in  which an excessive amount of thyroid hormones are produced by the thyroid gland. A common cause of hyperthyroidism is Graves Disease, another problem that cannot be cured. If graves disease is not treated it can be fatal.

2. “2018 has taught me that you can’t control someones loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean they’ll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.”

And ain’t that the truth! – Someone can make out they’re all about you until they no longer need you – and that’s when true colours come out. I learnt this the hard way and i’d love to say i’ve learnt my lesson but i’m a very gullible human being..

3. You WILL Compare yourself to others on social media. 

I may not be the skinniest, I may not be the most tanned, or have the best skin or be the best looking – But thats okay.

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4. Work can’t always come first.

It’s so easy to get into a routine of work, home, work, bed. It gets to a point where you can so easily forget to eat and have a life outside of work, and thats exactly what happened to me.
Now I have my studio and i’m working 1 night a week and it’s so much less pressure & i get to see my friends and family so much more.

5. Stay away from negative people. 

It’s a lot easier said than done. But if someones bitching about someone to you, then what are they saying about you to them? There’s only so much negativity you can take before you turn into a negative person yourself – No one needs that, and nothing is worth that – No matter how much you love something.

6. For god sake girl, EAT!

Getting over the same eating disorder yet again was another positive thing of 2018. I totally lost myself as it was the only thing I had control over.
Eating is SO important along with having a balanced diet – without that you can feel so down and drained. Eat some veg, drink some water and eat a chocolate bar bigger than your head. Take the stairs instead of the lift and just be happy – enjoy it.

7. Your true friends will ALWAYS have your back, no matter where you are or how long its been since you last saw them.

You need friends that will defend you in a room when someone speaks bad about you, without you being there. You need friends that are more like family. You don’t need to see these friends a lot, but you know if you need them – they’re there.

8. Even the most confident of people need help sometimes. 

Put me in a club, in front of 2000 people and I can cope, put me one to one with someone and the panic hits. I come across to some people as one of the most confident people you could meet – but i’m also one of the most anxious people you could ever meet. Never judge a book by its cover..

9. It’s OKAY to ask for help. 

If you’re struggling or need help with something, or if you just need a push in the right direction, it’s always okay to ask for help. Even if the person you need help from is the busiest person on the planet – if they’re a half decent human being, they’ll always find time for you. People you have known 5 minutes can be more loyal than people you’ve known for years.

10. I am so much stronger than I have ever given myself credit for. 

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2018 helped me grow, 2019 is my year…With A LOT more pizza. 

Bees xo 

Where have I been, What am I doing?!

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Hey!

So, as you can tell, i’ve been off here for a while and not as consistent with my instagram posts too. I’ve been so crazy busy, had some issues with illness and also some issues with WordPress and themes etc.

I’m back and i’ll try that little bit harder, but heres what i’ve been doing this Summer so far..

Spain:
At the start of the summer I went to Spain (blog post already posted, take a look!). Spain was good, it was hot, but it was STRESSFUL. The resort we stayed in what absolutely awful for gluten free and just in general.. I stayed there for a week and didn’t even have a bed to sleep in.. i was sleeping on sofa cushions for a week with a bottom sheet over me.. it was the absolute worse!

Paris:
Paris was well and truly a nightmare and i’m still waiting for http://www.booking.com to sort it out. They seemed really helpful whilst we were there but not so much now we’re back. Still waiting for refunds and honestly – an apology.

Here’s the text I wrote with my caption on one of my insta posts – (@basicbee)

“I wouldn’t usually use this to rant but I need to warn people about a hotel that we booked through @bookingcom (not their fault at all!) – – – We just landed in Paris for our stress free mini break… Got here got in a taxi that locked us in and tried to take £150 euros from us (for a 15 minute journey). Got an Uber after 40 mins, got to the hotel paid £40 for Uber, the hotel didn’t have anyone at reception they put us in a room that was the size of a store room, didn’t have a bathroom, and a dirty sink that didn’t work, and had a bed smaller bed for both of us, no one at reception (they don’t man it so we had no one to help us feel remotely safe) so can’t get a refund for the £80, people smoking in there, doing drugs, trying to block us walking, shouting things at us, trying to get in our room, no lock on the door of the room – then we left, found another hotel which is £163 that’s the cheapest we could find.. paid another £35 in a taxi to get back here which is next to the airport, just got here, the reception are lovely, he said he didn’t have the same room for both nights for us, so we’d have to change room we said it’s fine, he went to do details and said don’t worry go to bed you look tired and stressed, he then upgraded us to a suite with that sleeps 5/6 people for the same price.. told us all about free buses to get us to places.. then rang up the room were in to check we’re okay.. and to tell us he’s moved everyone around so we can be in the same room for both nights were here.. He really is our super hero right now! It’s finally bed time, and it’s time to eat biscuits and sleep before our 7am alarm! Tomorrow (well today!) is a new day right?! 🙈😭”

The next day we went to Disney Land and actually had a really good time!

Now we’re back, thinking about it more, it is slightly booking.com’s fault. They shouldn’t have listed the hotel as a hotel when its a hostel AND they should make sure their guests are safe.. But anyway! Moving on..

Wales:
It’s pretty common knowledge that I LOVE North Wales. It’s one of my favourite places in the entire world, if not my favourite.  It’s so chilled, not stressful, gluten free options are everywhere and i can dress in whatever i feel comfortable in, without feeling like i’m being judged. Theres always loads of driving in wales too, but I drive there which means i have my car, so theres no waiting around for trains or buses etc. It’s also SO pretty!
We alway stay at a place called Ogwyn Bank, and it’s honestly just so pretty. Theres so many beaches, mountains and just everything and anything you could want.

The Browns Wedding:
My friend Susie got married to her partner Adam a few weeks ago. I did her hair and her bridesmaids hair and also her makeup. It was such a good evening, and the venue was SO pretty.

Colchester – Essex: 
I went down to Colchester to see my friends. I saw Jade, Aeysha, Mem, Roger, Charlotte and Rachael. It was a good weekend and I got to BBQ on a beach type place that also had sand.. it was so CUTE though! I made sweet chilli and lime prawns, they were good!

Some of the guys i hadn’t met before, so it was SO good finally meeting them again! I’m going back down next weekend too!

House, Home and Moving:
Dan and I started buying a few bits for when we move out. We got glasses, cups, tea towels and a few other bits. We thought it would be better to start buying now then bulk buy when we move in. This way we don’t skint ourselves. We’ve worked out where we want to live now and I can’t wait to move out at the start of next year with him!

Anniversary Weekend:
At the end of August it’s 2 years since Dan and I went on our first date. He told me we could do whatever I wanted so we booked some bits! Then it turns out he needs to go and watch the football on the Saturday… SO! We’ve had to move things around and now we’re off to try “Ghetto Golf” in Birmingham. I’m actually really happy about this because i’ve wanted to try it for a while.

This Weekend:
This weekend my friend Jade is coming up from Colchester. We have SO much planned which obviously includes binge watching Greys Anatomy, letting me cook too much food and going on an adventure on Saturday.

Sunday, we’re going for breakfast and then she’s leaving me to go back home. Then i’m seeing Dan for a few hours and we’re going for afternoon (well, evening) tea!

And thats about it!
I had some amazing cookies from @Thenuttybrunchco to try last weekend, i’ll let you know how they were on my next post!

Bees xo