Is This Too Personal For The Internet?

Hey Guys, Welcome back to my little corner of the internet –

The internet is such a picture perfect place isn’t it? Well, instagram anyway.. I can tell you from person experience – it’s total and utter bullshit.

Where the hell do I start? If 2020 wasn’t going to absolute shite before, it is now – See, Shite is fine; It’s like a posh way of saying Sh*t, right?! Maybe? Okay well.. let’s give me that one..

So, we all know I’m 29 and waiting for that midlife crisis, hence starting the “almost 30 blog post” but Jheeze! The last week has been an absolute whirl wind of emotion, and really, all I want to actually do is chill with the girls or sit in Bella Italia with April for 2342 Hours, order way too much food and gossip about life in general.. But alas, Boris is still a wanker (I’m saying it, I don’t care, I’m bored of lockdown and covid but again that’s another story).

So, Boris made me take another month off of work even though hair and beauty rates were next to nothing (honestly pal, thanks, a lot.. that’s 8 months this year!) – But I’m, now BACK! I was allowed to go back to work again on Wednesday 2nd December – but of course, me being me – going straight back to work would be just far too easy wouldn’t it?

So, the last few weeks I’ve been beyond stressed out, I was really good at covering it and only Will really knew. I was stressing about absolutely everything in life that realistically comes with a pandemic, and whilst doing so I was pushing the best people away in order to protect myself (Shout out to me, because I do this A LOT – or I runaway, but Will’s banned me from doing that now..) so anyway, yeah.. basically I over stress and I’m a bit of a twat.. But what’s the best thing to do during a world wide pandemic?

Stress yourself into A&E of course!

So, keep in mind, works on Wednesday, and I’m in A&E on Monday evening due to projectile vomiting blood all over my bathroom and other various locations in the house.. (too much info? Ooops, you should probably stop reading because it’s going to get worse..).
Will’s got a deadline so he can’t be there with me, and I’m only allowed one person who’s in my bubble.
At this point I didn’t really realise how serious it was so I took Sonic & Tails on my switch as my “+1” and kept in touch with people throughout the night.

Now I’m not one to complain (that’s a lie), but why is there ALWAYS that one person in the waiting room that doesn’t shut up? Do we need to hear your FaceTime call for 2+ hours to someone about how terrible your life is and how it’s a “P*ss take” when you’re not called in next because you’re just in so much pain (the huge amount of pain that actually makes total sense and explains why you keep getting up to charge your phone in different plugs throughout the waiting room, verbally abuse anyone that smiles at you, including NHS staff and basically just make absolutely everyone uncomfortable around you for the entire time your in there.. including an older man that tried to defend you and you bit his head off.. shout out to you if for some unknown reason you’re reading this, you are a knob.

But anyway, back to me, because you know, this is all about me right now.. So, I get rushed through the covid screening part, straight into majors and I’m that dosed up on morphine and whatever else, I make two friends in the cubical next to me – to this point I still don’t know their names but hey, you’re great! ( No honestly, they we’re great, making me laugh etc for hours to make sure I was okay even though they were there for themselves, maybe human beings aren’t so bad after all?)

Rushed through scans, and I’m told I’m going to need to stay in, well no – it’s Monday, they can’t do anything until Wednesday, what do they expect me to do, stay in a COVID hospital until Wednesday? It’s a no from me, so reluctantly, the doctor and surgical team agree I’m allowed to go home IF I take it easy, bed rest only and come back in an ambulance if the pain gets any worse..

So it turns out I have what they thought was a stress ulcer attached to my tummy, and they were worried it was going to *insert some word that begins with a P here* but basically burst which is why it was bed rest time..

Tuesday morning comes along, I’m still ridiculously stressed with life but I sleep thanks to codeine and a sleeping pill. Tuesday evening comes along the stress is kind of sorted, and I’m getting ready for an EASY day at work on Wednesday.
Everyone that knows me knows I don’t do things by halves, so actually halving my appointments and moving slots around is actually a huge thing for me but I did it. I fitted 2 lots of hair extensions and then went home.

Thursday I then did a handful of appointments and went back to the hospital on Friday for my little operation to remove said ulcer.
(Admittedly it was meant to be before Friday, but your girl over here had a speed awareness Course she had to do via zoom from her bed.. just don’t ask, this is how my 2020 has gone..)

Friday comes, I’m chilling at Will’s taking it easy, JOKE, I’m an absolute bitch cause I’m scared, nervous, and beyond stressed out to the point I’m pretty certain this thing is going to burst at any given second.. Off we go to the hospital on Friday afternoon, and it’s removed. The team are lovely and I have to have not only another external scan, but an internal one too. Why is COVID a thing?
I could really do with my boyfriend making me laugh with the worst jokes known to man at this point.. (I don’t laugh at the jokes, I laugh at his grin after because he’s so proud) I’ve got my AirPods with me, so what do we do? We message Elise and Alex with random useless information and of course, I message Scottie B for a play list of songs that I just MUST listen too.. and the guy came through, all straight bangers, 10/10’s.

At this point, Carly the angel that she is (also a nurse, why she isn’t some next level surgeon I have no idea but she is literally the meaning of life at this point) is messaging me, checking up on me constantly and making me smile.

I go back to Will’s to rest with the news that they have to take I biopsy to make sure it’s not cancerous – I’m a little down but I explain all the details to Elise who almost throws up.. which for some reason cheers me up greatly and makes me laugh..

We order food and wait for results..

It’s now Tuesday, but I got the results yesterday, it’s not cancerous,

But Oh Shit, not even Shite, just Shit.. Your girls got to have an ovary removed.

How am I supposed to feel? Because honestly? I really don’t know and making jokes is the only way to go about it at the moment, but I know at some point I actually need to process this as it’s not a small thing.

Apparently ranting and typing and forgetting to try and be this perfect blogger has helped. This is how I speak, this is how I type, and this is me. The Real Me. The Girl that’s about to lose an ovary at the age of 29, the girl that has no kid and the girl that has no fucking clue what she’s actually doing with her life.. So sits and makes tiktoks to past the time..

Has anyone else been through anything like this, or similar to this?

I’ve had so much love and support from my favourite people though and I’m forever grateful.


So, here’s my question, Is this too personal for the internet?

Bees xo

I’m done with him & I’m over it.

Elect a clown – Expect a Circus. 

Hi, Hi, Hi, Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.

Before anyone starts, this is ALL MY OWN opinion from how I feel about the entire COVID Pandemic has been handled – or not handled, which ever way you want to address it. But either way, it’s my blog; so i’m going to rant.. Why? Because i deserve to.

I totally, 100% understand that Boris Johnson has probably the most difficult job of them all right now, but seriously – i don’t understand how people are praising him?

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No one can argue with FACTS. This is what the UK Government has done.

December 31st China alerts WHO to new virus.

January 23rd Study reveals a third of China’s patients require intensive care.

January 24th Boris Johnson misses first Cobra meeting.

January 29th Boris Johnson misses second Cobra meeting.

January 31st The NHS declares first ever ‘Level 4 critical incident’ Meanwhile, the government declines to join European scheme to source PPE.

February 5th Boris Johnson misses third Cobra meeting.

February 12th Boris Johnson misses fourth Cobra meeting. Exeter University published study warning Coronavirus could infect 45 million people in the UK if left unchallenged.

February 13th Boris Johnson misses conference call with European leaders.

February 14th Boris Johnson goes away on holiday. Aides are told keeps Johnson’s briefing notes short or he will not read them.

February 18th Johnson misses fifth cobra meeting.

February 26th Boris Johnson announces ‘Herd Immunity’ strategy, announcing some people will lose loved ones. Government document is leaked, predicting half a million Brits could die in ‘worse case scenario’

February 29th Boris Johnson retreats to his country manor. NHS warns of ‘PPE shortage nightmare’ Stockpiles have dwindled or expired after years of austerity cuts.

March 2nd Boris Johnson attends his first Cobra meeting, declining another opportunity to join European PPE scheme. Government’s own scientists say over half a million Brit’s could die if virus left unrestrained. Johnson tells country “We are very, very well prepared.”

March 3rd Scientists urge Government to advise public not to shake hands. Boris Johnson brags about shaking hands of Coronavirus patients.

March 4th Government stops providing daily updates on virus following a 70% spike in UK cases. They will later U-turn on this amid accusations they are withholding vital information.

March 5th Boris Johnson tells public to ‘wash their hands and business as usual’

March 7th Boris Johnson joins 82,000 people at Six Nations match.

March 9th After Ireland cancels St Patrick’s day parades, the government says there’s “No Rationale” for cancelling sporting events.

March 10th – 13th Cheltenham takes place, more than a quarter of a million people attend.

March 11th 3,000 Atletico Madrid fans fly to Liverpool.

March 12th Boris Johnson states banning events such as Cheltenham will have little effect. The Imperial College study finds the government’s plan is projected to kill half a million people.

March 13th The FA suspends the Premier League, citing an absence of Government guidance. Britain is invited to join European scheme for joint purchase of ventilators, and refuses. Boris Johnson lifts restrictions of those arriving from Coronavirus hot spots.

March 14th Government is still allowing mass gatherings, as Stereophonics play to 5,000 people in Cardiff.

March 16th Boris Johnson asks Britons not to go to pubs, but allows them to stay open. During a conference call, Johnson jokes that push to build new ventilators should be called ‘Operation Last Gasp’

March 19th Hospital patients with Coronavirus are returned to care homes in a bid to free up hospital space. What follows is a boom of virus cases in care homes.

March 20th The Government states that PPE shortage crisis is “Completely resolved” Less than two weeks later, the British Medical Association reports an acute shortage in PPE.

March 23rd UK goes into lockdown.

March 26th Boris Johnson is accused of putting ‘Brexit over Breathing’ by not joining EU ventilator scheme. The government then state they had not joined the scheme because they had ‘missed the email’

April 1st The Evening Standard publishes that just 0.17% of NHS staff have been tested for the virus.

April 3rd The UK death toll overtakes China.

April 5th 17.5 million Antibody tests, ordered by the government and described by Boris Johnson as a ‘game changer’ are found to be a failure.

April 7th Boris Johnson is moved to intensive care with Coronavirus.

April 16th Flights bring 15,000 people a day into the UK – without virus testing.

April 17th Health Secretary Matt Hancock says “I would love to be able to wave a magic wand and have PPE fall from the sky.” The UK has now missed four opportunities to join the EU’s PPE scheme.

April 21st The Government fails to reach its target of face masks for the NHS, as it is revealed manufactures offers of help were met with silence. Instead millions of pieces of PPE are being shipped from the UK to Europe.

April 23rd – 24th Government announces testing kits for 10 million key workers. Orders run out within minutes as only 5,000 are made available.

April 25th UK death toll from Coronavirus overtakes that of The Blitz.

April 30th Boris Johnson announces the UK has succeeded in avoiding a tragedy that had engulfed other parts of the world – At this point, The UK has the 3rd highest death toll in the world.

May 1st The Government announces it has reached its target of 100,000 tests – They haven’t conducted the tests, but posted the testing kits.

May 5th The UK death toll becomes the highest in Europe.

May 6th Boris Johnson announces the UK could start to lift lockdown restrictions by Monday 7th May (Less than 24 hours after the announcement.) – And lets be honest here, it was so brief it was unreal and there was basically no need for the announcement – he showed he was totally and completely unprepared.

He didn’t even mention shielded families or the over 70s?

It wasn’t until this morning – Monday 7th May that other leaders including Dominic Raab, actually took time to explain what the new rules meant; and they’re basically exactly the same other than you can have unlimited exercise now and you can meet 1 person from another house hold but you have to keep 2m apart.

I’m confused – So i can meet one other person from another house hold with social distancing but I can’t see family that have self isolated for 8-10 weeks when I, myself have self isolated for 8+ weeks? How does this make any sense? I understand that people are confused, i am! I found out i can’t back to work today until at least July 4th – and the back log for stock is UNREAL… but thats another story.

“If you can work from home, do so, If you can’t work from home, go back to work”..

So let’s be honest here – theres no actual plan for going back to work is there? If you’re working class and you’re not rich, we’re all pretty fucked.

They’re sending school kids back first – to pre schools and nurseries? Please someone, explain this to me – because i know the first thing my niece and nephews do on a normal day (pre lock down) is run over to me and cuddle me – I’ve lost count of the amount of times they’d sneezed in my face and we’ve both screamed at the size of the slug hanging from their nose.. Like come on? Is this not the WORST age of people and mini human beings to be sent back first? Why are we using some of our most vulnerable people, that are scared, have just settled into a brand new routine –  as guinea pigs?

Uni Students – Where do we start? My boyfriend and some of my best friends are uni students – and they’ve heard nothing. Literally – Nothing. They’re still having to pay hundreds of pounds in rent for somewhere that realistically, they can’t live right now. Why are landlords allowed to take money off them exactly? I’m confused, can someone explain to me if landlords have had to pay their mortgages, cause as far as i was aware (i could be wrong) but could they not get a mortgage holiday? But anyway, correct me if i’m wrong but i’ve worked with unis for 8-9 years now and 5 and a bit of those were directly with a uni – i was literally based there 80% of my time.. The people that attend uni.. ARE ADULTS. They’re not kids, like i get it, 4 months before they start uni, they’re putting their hand up in a class room and asking if they’re allowed to go to the toilet – but the difference from arriving to the end of term 1 (christmas) is unreal for like 90% of uni students.

How have they heard… NOTHING? They’re not even being mentioned? How is this possibly fair, have they not paid £9250 in tuition fees alone to learn in a classroom, not online?

So whats happening? Are they going into their 3rd / final year with an extra almost £15+k in debt if not more after fees, living, rent etc .. to learn online?

How is this fair? They deserve some respect and for someone to give them, not even a straight answer – but just to let them know that they haven’t been forgotten about.

I honestly think watching this Tory government dealing with a real crisis gives us an insight to what the Brexit negotiations look like. We’re all fucked and in huge trouble – and the worst part of it? The UK voted for it all – Thank you Brexiters.

I don’t for a second know what this guys going through, but do you not think that maybe, if he’d done his job to start with, We wouldn’t be in the place we are right now? – And there would be a hell of a lot more understanding?
He didn’t miss just 1 thing did he? He missed 5+ huge meetings..?

Boris Pal, Step down, I’m done with you and your absolute shambles with this & I’m honestly over it.

Feel free to give me your opinion with this, my inbox is always open.

B x 

Motivation? What Motivation…?

Hey & welcome back to my little corner of the internet. Staying motivated at a time like this can be and seem incredibly difficult. ‘Working from home’ always seemed like such an exciting and nice idea, until it was forced upon us and a huge number of people, and staying motivated when you’re out of your comfort zone isn’t easy for any of us.

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So whether you’re working from home, on furlough, are self-employed like myself or one of the key workers doing all you can to keep us going and to keep us safe – I hope this post might help you, or writing it may just be helping me – I’ve been working in events for 10+ years, running around and doing as much by myself rather than asking others for help, so no events is seeming pretty crazy for me. I also own a hair and beauty studio so i am self-employed too, my studio had to close at the start of the lock down and i’m really, really missing it. All this sounds good right? It is its amazing.. And you’ll be alarmed to learn and understand, that I absolutely do not have my shit together.

“Then why TF are you offering us advice?” – Lets be honest, i’m asking myself the same thing..

But anyway, heres my tips –

Okay that might sound  simple. But when your normal routine is full on destroyed, creating a new is never going to be easy? So whether you’re working or not working, planning yourself a routine is super imporant. Imagine if you were working outside of your home you would (probably) have a set routine, right? I.e. when you wake up, when you start work, lunchtime etc. etc. (I don’t, i’m the worst, I forget to eat daily…) but hey lets give it ago.. right?

  • Bed Time – This is important (coming from the person thats been staying up until 5am-7am every night and then sleeping in until 10am-11am.. But try and set a bed time, it’s really important, not having a bed time can totally wipe you out for the next day and being tired is a really easy reason to let yourself become unproductive.
  • Water – I try my best to get up and drink a glass of water before doing anything else (although I smashed my water cup, and i’m now also failing at this..) Try to make yourself a drink of your choice before looking at your phone, social media or watching the TV. Starting the day with this helps you fell like you have some sort of control.
  • Work outs – I try and do home work outs from an app on my phone, between 3 and 5 a day. Each work out is between 4 and 8 minutes long, it really helps to wake you up. If you’re having a “bad” day, don’t push yourself. Theres no need.
  • Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner – Try and plan what you’re going to eat before hand. This is easier and again, makes you feel like you have some sort of control. It also makes shopping easier and you can look forward to making dishes and you could try new recipes too.
  • Tasks – Get shit done, whatever it is – no matter how big or small it may seem.
  • Breathe – finish your day and relax. Start that bed time routine whenever you feel ready and get yourself ready for the next day.

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PLANS –

I use the notes on my phone and the little tick boxes.
I like making lists, everyone loves making lists right? No? Okay.. Just me!

I make lists every night of what i’m going to do the next day. Even stuff as small as getting up, having a shower, brush teeth etc – My Friday list consists of –

  • Wake Up
  • Work Out
  • Brush Teeth
  • Whiten Teeth
  • Shower
  • Fake Tan
  • Paint Nails
  • Do Hair
  • Do Make-Up
  • Walk
  • Come Home
  • Sort Snacks
  • Change Bed
  • Change into comfies / PJs
  • FaceTime friends / Watch Films / Netflix.

Seems like a really odd list right? Full of stuff I would just usually do anyway – but when you’ve ticked off all the boxes and complete the list – it’s kind of a weird sense of achievement and it helps you feel a lot better.

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Fresh Air –

I can’t stress this enough. For someone who struggles with their mental health and anxiety – working from home, isolating myself has been something that i’ve really struggled with.

I’m used to running around, keeping myself busy – too busy to realise i’m anxious or nervous about things because I just have too much to do.

I’m sure whilst we’re all stuck at home, we’re all craving being outside, and although that isn’t possible right now in the way it used to be, it’s okay to miss it. Make the most of that hour that you’re free to excessise. Walk, Run, Jog, Skip, Jump, Drive? Just leave the house for a change of scenery. – I’ve really struggled with this, and in the 6 weeks i’ve been home i’ve probably only left the house a grand total of say 10 times max, probably not even that.. Even though i know i feel better when i’ve left for a walk or drive and come back, the anxiety to actually to that can become really overwhelming.

Cut yourself some slack – 

We are only human, we’re not machines. You can’t just switch on and keep us on a repeat motion forever. Just don’t give yourself a hard time. We are all in this together, confused by completely unforeseen circumstances and what the future holds.  It’s all about just trying to learn how to adjust.

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I hope this helps even one of you, it’s helping me – It’s okay to be unproductive, productive, just be yourself and try your best, no one is asking anything more of you.

B xo

 

 

Comfort Food – Easy GF Lasagna

We’re back again in my little corner of the Internet!

Two posts in one day?! Shocking i know – but I found my easy lasagna recipe, so thought i’d share it with you as we’re all stuck inside (but safe inside) for a while!

I think a few of my posts are going to end up being food related as I don’t really have anything to do at the moment other than cook.. or watch Netflix?!

And the best part of this is, you can make it whenever during the day and just heat it up later on… Kind of means you can justify cooking it in PJ’s without thinking you’re secretly judging yourself too.. So anyway..

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 garlic cloves, finely sliced
  • 2 Bell Peppers
  • 250g beef mince
  • 1 tbsp tomato purée
  • 400g tin chopped tomatoes
  • 200ml beef stock
  • 9-12 lasagne sheets (depending on the size of your baking dish)
  • 50g Parmesan, grated
  • 150g pack mozzarella, shredded

For the white sauce

  • 50g butter
  • 50g plain flour
  • 550ml semi-skimmed milk
  • 50g Paramesan

Method: 

  1. Cook the pasta sheets for 2 minutes each and place to the side.
  2. In a large pan, heat the olive oil over a low heat. Fry the onion, peppers and garlic for 5 mins, or until softened. Add the mince and fry on a medium heat until golden. Stir in the tomato purée and chopped tomatoes and simmer for 15 mins, or until the liquid has reduced. Season with salt and pepper.

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  3. Whilst that simmers, make the white sauce. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over a low heat and add the flour. Whisk until combined and cook on low for 1-2 mins. Remove from the heat and gradually whisk in the milk and parmesan until you have a loose sauce. Season. Return to a gentle heat and whisk constantly until the sauce thickens.
  4. Preheat the oven to gas 6, 200°C, fan 180°C. Layer up the lasagne in a baking dish, starting with a third each of the ragu, then the pasta sheets, then the white sauce. Repeat twice / 3 times.

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  5. Top with the Parmesan and mozzarella.

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  6. Then bake in the oven for 40-45 mins, until piping hot and crisp and bubbling on top.

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  7. Serve and enjoy! 

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It’s super easy and even better the next day as a left over!
It’s a pretty cheap dish to make too and can easily feed a lot of people so its win, win!

B x 

You need a “Pizza” this brunch..

Hi hi hi, welcome back to my little corner of the internet!

As much as some of us moan, we have to admit gluten free options in supermarkets, shops and even eating out are A LOT better now then they were a few years ago, we’re not as left behind now – I’ve learnt to focus on what you can eat instead of what you can’t eat and changing your mind set really helps!

I grabbed this Gluten free pastry from Asda thinking it would break apart. I can make pastry but puff pastry takes SO LONG! And although i love everything pastry wise, the effort is real and unless you’ve really planned it, it’s not something you can just make really easily.

When I grabbed this gluten free puff pastry sheet i wasn’t really expecting much, but O-M-G it worked SO WELL!

Theres no need for a rolling pin either, as the sheet is ready to use and even comes complete with baking paper so you can pop it straight into the oven! – Even better right?

I defrosted mine, and laid it out on the baking tray in an attempt to make a brunch style pizza.. Not having a clue how it would turn out, but it was SO GOOD!

I diced and cooked some bacon and sausage, tomatoes (you can add mushrooms but i HATE mushrooms.. so i didn’t!) and layed them onto the pastry. Then i cracked 4 eggs onto the top, sprinkled cheese over and some fresh spring onion.

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I then added egg wash (a beaten egg and milk) to the outside of the pastry and baked for 20 minutes.

The eggs were really fluffy and it was SO good and easy to do! I also ended up only using one pan so it was really tidy too and didn’t have too much washing up, it’s win, win!

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Give it a go, and let me know what you think!

B x 

“Make my body your canvas.. I’ve got love and you can have it.”

First blog post in the “Almost 30” blog post group..
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I’ve decided to add the “Almost 30” blog posts to my blog purely because i think the jump from 29 – 30 is a huge leap and to be totally honest with you – I am absolutely shitting myself. Lets not bite around the bush here, I am terrified.

I also make terrible choices, so heres the start of putting them on the internet, because why not?

I turned 29 in February and i don’t know if it’s because I work with students part time, or because i thought i would have achieved more by now, but i honestly think theirs a midlife crisis coming..
When i was a kid i always said i’d never get tattoos, i’d have babies and be married by the time i was 25 max.. now i’m 29, out of a long term relationship, back at my mums for a year or 18 months, 0 kids and absolutely not getting married anytime soon..

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Oh and i’m 99 tattoos down and planning my 100th..

Luckily i work for myself full time and my part time job, my team are super laid back about it and don’t mind them at all because of the industry that we’re in.

The rest of it doesn’t bug me much, but do i regret my tattoos? Absolutely.
I don’t know if is because we’re on lock down and i’m scrolling through instagram and social media more, but oh my god.. i am regretting absolutely all of them.

I can honestly say, if i could go back in time i would and i’d never, ever had one..
I’m tired. I’m tired of being judged for them, i’m 5’4 and a bit in height, i scream at my own reflection if i’ve not brushed my hair before bed and see my reflection in the morning.. I couldn’t fight myself with a pillow, let alone anyone else – i’m the furthest thing away from a ‘thug’ you can think of. Although saying that, i have a sharp tongue, but i’m female.. don’t we all?

I guess what i’m trying to say is, think before you ink. All these programmes like “Just tattoo of us” are so stupid. I never thought i’d say this; even just a few years ago – but oh my god, they’re so stupid! Why would you want someone elses designs on you for the rest of your life?

Your body is so precious. Stop looking at tattoo designs on google, NO good artist will do exactly the same design as what you take in if you’ve found it on google – and if they will? You need to find a new artist.
Tattoos are on your skin forever, i’m at the point that my hands, legs, arms etc are all covered, so yes i’m planning my 100th tattoo. Purely because my logic is, i’m already covered, so whats the point in not carrying on?
I’ll be the first to admit that some of my artwork is awful – I went to a tattoo shop to have one of my hands tattooed and the artist that was doing it bitched about a picture on one of my sleeves – forgetting he did this tattoo himself a few years ago – awkward was an understatement.

I guess what i’m trying to say is, when your mum, dad, granny, cousin twice removed tells you not to get a tattoo – it’s not because they’re being difficult, it turns out that maybe sometimes, adults and people older than you, do know best. If you’re dead set on it and getting one, make sure you sit and think about it properly realise this really is going to be on your skin for the rest of your life. You WILL get judged, 2020 or not.

I’ve got to meet new people in a few weeks, and i’m absolutely terrified, i don’t want to be judged because of bad choices or not exactly bad choices, but choices i should have thought more about when i was younger.

Although 80%+ of my generation are all going to look the same when were older, with tattoos in our elderly people homes.. we’re going to be the most colourful generation out there – I guess thats a positive?

But no, seriously, think before you ink, this stuff really is there forever. I wish i could wear pretty dresses, and not worry about looking too OTT because of my ink.. But hey, i guess it really is there forever, so plain dresses for the win, right?!

B x

Easy Bake Gluten Free Chocolate Banana Bread

How’s isolation treating you…? Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.

I am in a rut. The days seem to be going quickly yet slowly at the same time.. If that makes sense. I’m on day 23 of “lock down” and i’m feeling like i haven’t done enough to warrant the amount of time i’ve had off from work.. I’m really missing work though, i can’t wait to get back.

Last week I got bored so out came the scales and I made some Gluten Free Banana bread. Banana bread is super easy to make and because of the moisture from the bananas, it’s pretty hard for it to become dry.. Theres a few ingredients we didn’t have in so i swapped them for other bits and it turned out really nice.. My mom couldn’t even tell it was Gluten Free either – which is a win win!

Here’s how i made it –

Ingredients –

  • 140g butter, softened, plus extra for the tin
  • 140g caster sugar
  • 2 large eggs, beaten
  • 140g gluten free self-raising flour
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 3 very ripe bananas
  • Chocolate
  • Golden Syrup

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Method:

  1. Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4.
  2. Butter a 2lb loaf tin – base and sides.IMG_0406
  3. Mix together 140g softened butter and 140g caster sugar until light and fluffy, then slowly add 2 beaten large eggs with a little of the 140g flour.IMG_0410
  4. ‘Mush’ the bananas with a fork in a seperate bowl.IMG_0407
  5. Fold in the remaining flour, cinnamon and 2 mashed bananas.

     

  6. Add 1 tbs of golden syrup.
  7. Finely chop the chocolate and add to the mix.IMG_0414
  8. Pour into the tin and bake.IMG_0415
  9. Bake for about 30 mins until a skewer comes out clean.
  10. Cool in the tin for 10 mins, then remove to a cooling rack.IMG_0479
  11. Slice & Serve.IMG_0481

See! It’s super easy! Give it a go and see how it goes.
I would have added A LOT more chocolate – but i’m the only one that likes chocolate in my house..

Keep Safe, Stay Home.

B x 

You need to get OUT of bed.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but turn off the news. Move your body, read a book and write down 3 things that you’re thankful for.

Long time no blog post, right?
With everything thats going on right now, I have a lot of free time.. So welcome back to my little corner of the internet..

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This is going to be really badly written and i’m probably going to blabber on and repeat myself too..

It’s impossible for you not to have seen anything about CONVID-19 on social media, the news, papers, it’s everywhere.

I’m used to working 3 jobs and constantly being on the go, but yesterday was day one of self isolation – and yesterday i had a really, really unproductive day, and i’ll be clear about it – I felt like shit.

I’m all for a Netflix and chill day on a day off.  I LOVE Netflix, and one of my friends just introduced me to Amazon prime movie wise too (even with being a prime ambassador i’d never used it, didn’t even think to look – I know, awful rep!)

I had a pretty productive weekend, but yesterday I was in a rut. I was bored.
I totally understand why self isolation is so important – I have graves disease, so I’m high risk but thought i’d been doing what I needed to do to keep myself and people around me safe – I was totally wrong.

So after my entire day in bed yesterday or just around my bedroom i was bored, fed up and overthinking. (Luckily i have people in my life that help me get out of the rut, check on your friends.. it’s important).

I guess what i’m trying to say is, it’s okay to spend days watching TV, Netflix, Play games, but you need to be productive and not fall into a bad place.

I went to bed in the worst mood last night but woke up to a handful of messages including puppy videos, “morning angel” messages and other messages telling me to stay safe – and it completely changed my mindset.
It’s so easy to fall into a rut, it doesn’t mean your lazy, but in my opinion, if you can stay active, you should. I’m not talking about meeting up with friends, or going out when you don’t need to.

Just try some of these ideas:

  • Get out of bed
  • Shower
  • Eat breakfast / Lunch
  • Read a book
  • Watch TV / Netflix
  • Start a Blog ( I can help with this!)
  • Clean your wardrobe (If you know me, you know full well this is a last resort for me..)
  • Cook
  • Learn to Bake
  • Read Blogs – a lot goes into a blog you know? When was the last time you read something instead of watching it on youtube?
  • Search Hashtags on instagram for things you’re interested in – you’ll be amazed how much comes up.
  • Make a mood board – I love a mood board.
  • Talk to your friends.
  • Play games – Xbox, Ps4, Switch – or like me, good old Sims..
  • Meal Prep
  • Home work outs
  • Make a Music Play list
  • Board games
  • Learn an online course
  • Colour! – When was the last time you coloured in for no reason?
  • Go for a walk – WITH Social distancing
  • Work on the garden
  • Support a small business
  • Call a friend
  • Write a list of things to do when you’re feeling better
  • Stay Hydrated

You just NEED to get out of bed.

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It’s okay to be scared, to be anxious, to be uncertain. Lets be honest, nobody knows whats going on right now.

Try managing your anxiety –

  • Avoid excessive exposure to media coverage
  • Connect trough calls, internet, texts.
  • Add Extra time for daily stress relief.
  • Practise self care*

Create a self care routine –

  • Get out of bed
  • Shower
  • Pick an outfit
  • Eat – Remember to eat.
  • Drink water
  • Skincare
  • Keep a diary

Everyone is in exactly the same boat of uncertainty. I’d do anything to see my friends and family right now, but I also realise that that could very easily put me into hospital – and let’s be honest; That isn’t fair on anyone.

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It’s okay if it takes time to make sense of all of this. We can ALL do something to help – we can stay at home.

 B xo 

Why do so many young women refuse to call themselves a feminist?

Feminism

/ˈfɛmɪnɪz(ə)m/
noun: feminism 

The advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes
Similar:
The women’s movement
The feminist movement
Women’s liberation
Heyyy,
Welcome back to my little corner of the internet..
Before I start – this is NOT an anti-male blog post, I have so so much respect for males in my life especially family, friends and people that I work with.. So if you’re here for an anti-male post, click off boo and don’t waste your time reading..
Did you know that fewer than one in five young women would call themselves a feminist?
Over the last couple of weeks i’ve followed loads of new accounts on instagram – ( @BasicBee ) and i’ve come to realise that what I thought was a feminist over the last 6+ years, isn’t actually a feminist at all..
There’s so many different types of feminism :
  • Liberal Feminism.”Liberal feminism is an individualistic form of feminist theory, which focuses on women’s ability to maintain their equality through their own actions and choices.”
  • Radical Feminism.”Radical feminism is a perspective within feminism that calls for a radical reordering of society in which male supremacy is eliminated in all social and economic contexts. Radical feminists view society as fundamentally a patriarchy in which men dominate and oppress women.”
  • Marxist and Socialist Feminism.“Socialist feminism is a two-pronged theory that broadens Marxist feminism‘s argument for the role of capitalism in the oppression of women and radical feminism‘s theory of the role of gender and the patriarchy.”
  • Cultural Feminism.”Cultural feminism, the view that there is a “female nature” or “female essence”, attempts to revalue and redefine attributes ascribed to femaleness. It is also used to describe theories that commend innate differences between women and men.”
  • Eco-Feminism.”Ecofeminism is a branch of feminism that sees environmentalism, and the relationship between women and the earth, as foundational to its analysis and practice. Ecofeminist thinkers draw on the concept of gender to analyse the relationships between humans and the natural world.”
  • I-Feminism ( The new wave of feminism)”Ifeminists, or individualist feminists, say that the feminist slogan “a woman’s body, a woman’s right” should extend to every peaceful choice a woman can make.Ifeminists believe that freedom and diversity benefit women, whether or not the choices that particular women make are politically correct. They respect all sexual choices, from motherhood to porn.

    As the cost of freedom, ifeminists accept personal responsibility for their own lives. They do not look to government for privileges any more than they would accept government abuse. Ifeminists want legal equality, and they offer the same respect to men.

    In short, ifeminism calls for freedom, choice, and personal responsibility.”

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Growing up, I won’t lie,  I always thought feminist were people that burnt bras and were very anti-men.. But this is purely because of what i’d seen in the media.

Having the chance to read up on things myself, it turns out I couldn’t be more wrong.

Although there is extremists, theres also so much that makes total sense to me, but before reading up on this i’d never have called myself a feminist.

Since 2016 (Which just happens to be when Donald Trump became President of the United States, but hey, coincidence right?) more and more movements that support feminism have come to light and people are a lot more open about being a feminist.

Online movements have also gained momentum. Actress Alyssa Milano suggested that anyone who had been “sexually harassed or assaulted” should reply to her Tweet with “#MeToo”, resurrrecting a movement started by activist Tarana Burke in 2006.

Half a million responded in the first 24 hours with the hashtag #MeToo and the hashtag has been used in more than 80 countries.

With the #MeToo hashtag and the #everydaysexism hashtag trending regularly, this has massively helped to bring feminism to mainstream attention – and to show what feminism is really about.

Even this time last year, I always thought feminists we’re very in peoples faces, pushed their opinions on people and basically hated men and I just didn’t really think I had time for it, but it’s amazing how much can change in a year once you educate yourself.

I would never call myself a feminist because I feared they would be associated with these traits.

So, how could the image of feminism be improved? How can females be proud of supporting feminism?

Arguably, as a society we should do more to challenge narrowly defined expectations of how women should look and act.

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Working harder to make this movement more inclusive could mean that feminism speaks to the experiences and concerns of diverse groups of women.

But at the end of the day whichever label women choose to have on themselves, the indication that the vast majority of people now support equality – and acknowledge it has not yet been achieved – is pretty heartbreaking.

Feminism has changed massively in the last 10 years and if you read up on it, it’s actually really interesting. It isn’t just men VS women anymore – I have so many men in my life that i respect and look up to, and over the last year they’ve had my back no matter what –

Men aren’t the problem & it isn’t fair to put all men in the same category. Feminism isn’t about being better than men, it’s about being equal. Equal rights, equal pay and everyones opinion being listened to.

Supporting feminism is nothing to be ashamed of and you should always stand up for what you believe in. Whether thats having kids, not having kids, wearing that short skirt, wearing that maxi dress, walking where you want, when you want without being shouting at. It’s your life and your body, so stand up for everything that you believe in – and you do you boo.

 Bees xo 

You Need A Healthy Dash Of Sass..

Hey Guys,

Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.
Has anyone else found 2019 to just be a bit blah? There is no other way to describe it.
I’ve done so much new stuff, started new work, but i’ve hardly traveled and I feel like not having a break from people and situations has left me in a weird kind of well, just a weird feeling really?

I’ve completely lost my confidence to blog too. It’s only in the last week or so i’ve started posting to instagram a lot more again too. It’s taken a lot but i’ve come to realise that instagram isn’t real life.

I spoke to a few people about this. When you have a slight following a lot of companies contact you to work with you, but before you know it your feed and life is taken over with posting what they want you to post for profit, instead of posting what you want to post yourself – and basically keeping your posts and account about you.
I see loads of different accounts that post such a mixture of things that completely contradict one another – I refuse this and reject a lot of posts purely because if I don’t believe in a product or don’t actually like it myself, I won’t post it.

Lets be honest though, it’s not just online. I think i’m just in a bit of a rut in general. Not a lot has happened but at the same time this year has been completely new and a lot has happened – work that out?!

I’ve lost people I thought would always be around and i’ve been blamed for things to make other people feel better about themselves. People have come for me that I never thought would, and I never would come for them – but after all of this I can honestly say i’m more wary about every single person in my life and I know who i do and who i don’t want to be around and who I don’t need around me.

I’ve learnt I need to back myself a lot more, I don’t need to be a bitch but in this industry i need to have my own back and back the people around me. I need to have a healthy dash of sass to be a female in this city.

I’m not really sure where i was going with this blog post, but i know it was time to post – and i’m glad I have. This is probably the shortest and quickest blog post but it was still worth it.

2020 is going to be my year. New blog, New Work, New House, New Life, Traveling more, settling down and living for myself and having a brand new start.

– And I am SO excited for this!

Bees xo 

You’re Dumped!

Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.. How’s life? I’m currently away for a couple of days and I feel like i’m getting back into blogging, posting and basically – getting my interest back in things that I actually want to do; and not just doing things i’ve been told to do, or working all the time.
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It’s safe to say (and pretty obvious from my lack of posts) that i’ve lost my blogging motivation. Every time I write or post I’m always like “Yeah, I’ve missed this, i’m totally going to start doing this weekly again”.. But then life gets in the way.

I’ve had what can only be described as one of the worst yet best years of my life so far, since January.

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Work wise, it’s amazing – I wouldn’t change a thing, both my little studio and event work are going incredible and I feel blessed on a daily basis… But personal wise? It couldn’t be more of the opposite.

I had a few what can only be described as “Shit” weeks / months, which I was pretty open about on my Instagram ( http://www.instagram.com/basicbee ) – And i’m not going to lie, although it’s been shit, I’ve realised who are and aren’t my friends and i’m finally feeling completely different about the situation now –

Since January i’ve realised my “circle” is a lot smaller now – and i’m absolutely fine with this. I find myself thinking that i’m missing out on things because i’m working, but actually, i’m not?

I’ll be the first to admit that i’m not the perfect friend, nor a perfect person – I make mistakes, i’m a human being.

..But I have little people following my every move now – and I’m someone they look up to & as much as I don’t want to admit it, I learn A LOT from my big sister about stuff like this.

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The last 9 months have pushed me beyond measure and i’m sad but honest enough to admit that i’ve let some people down. Some friendships have flourished and some have completely disappeared with not even a word said to one another now.

I’ve learnt that people that I thought were my friends probably weren’t even my friends to begin with. It’s pretty common knowledge that I was in a horrible relationship for 9-10 months around 3 years ago. I had two of what can only be described as the most amazing people on the planet supporting me to get out of that. Yet because of Chinese whispers and he said, she said, I no longer speak to either of them. One of them doesn’t deserve my time – and quite frankly, never did.. And the other? He decided to use what he knew against me.
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I’m 28 years old, my life isn’t a playground.. (And what you post on the internet and instagram isn’t always real life, but this is for another post..)

I learnt a lot because of this..

  • I learnt that sometimes people aren’t what they seem and people are going to let you down.  – It’s life, I sat for so long being more upset with this person than the entire situation altogether.
  • Don’t always be the person that tries to keep in touch with people. If they cared – they’d make the effort too. It takes 30 seconds to send a text.
  • Don’t break yourself for other people.
    I’ll drive hours to see my friendship group in Essex, i’d never change that for the world. I absolutely love my little breaks away with them. Yet theres people down the road that I don’t keep in touch with that I was once so close to.
  • Competition isn’t needed.
    If you’re doing good your friends should be cheering for you – and vice versa. You should be your friends biggest cheerleader and number one support.
    Don’t steel each others spot light, theres room for everyone.
  • The unsaid will fester.
    Be open with one another!
    Although saying this – This doesn’t mean you can be a complete dick to people.
    If somethings bothering you think about it before speaking up – Sometimes it’s just not worth the argument.
    Are you still going to be mad about this in 24 hours time?
  • Not every situation requires a response from you, save your breath, sometimes people’s ego’s are too big to realise what they’ve done in a situation when the blame is on them.

I’ve learnt a lot in the last 6-9 months. I can honestly say that i’ve put my trust in the wrong people. I didn’t believe in ghosting people before but now I do. My intention would never be to be nasty but I do believe everyone deserves time to think about their behaviour and actions.

I’m very open about the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve but that doesn’t mean that i’ll just forgive and forget.

The last few months i’ve made it pretty clear about who I want and need in my life, and i’ve come to realise that I’d rather have less friends than loads of friends that turn out to not have my back.

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I haven’t got my life together, not even slightly, and i’ll admit i’m kind of lost at the moment too!
But for all of the drama and losing myself over the last few months, my motivation being in the wrong places and my confidence being shattered –

I’m done and I’m back.. Bees 2.0? Who knows!

I guess what i’m trying to say is all the negative bits over the last however long –

I want to forgive you – and I want to forget you..

You’re Dumped!

B x 

“Obese mannequins are selling women a dangerous lie or Nike’s ‘obese’ mannequins are inspirational” – Which side are you on?

What is even going on today?

Stop the world, I want to get off…

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Thats right, the first part of blog post title is word for word.. that’s one of the main stories in The Telegraph today.

Writer (I’m calling her a writer because she doesn’t deserve to be called a journalist – although I can think of relevant other names for her at this moment in time) Tanya Gold decided to write an article body shaming NIKE and their new sports range as the gym clothing is modelled on a Size 16 mannequin.

“I fear that the war on obesity is lost, or has even, as is fashionable, ceased to exist, for fear of upsetting people into an early grave. Nike Inc, the multinational company named after the Greek goddess of victory, has introduced plus-sized mannequins to its flagship store in London to “celebrate the diversity and inclusivity of sport”. They wear the famous Nike tick, which says: welcome to the mainstream.

Yet the new Nike mannequin is not size 12, which is healthy, or even 16 – a hefty weight, yes, but not one to kill a woman. She is immense, gargantuan, vast. She heaves with fat.

She is, in every measure, obese, and she is not readying herself for a run in her shiny Nike gear. She cannot run. She is, more likely, pre-diabetic and on her way to a hip replacement. What terrible cynicism is this on the part of Nike?”

I’m so confused by this? It’s hard enough to find gym clothes for myself that i’m comfortable in and my size varies from a UK size 6 to a UK size 10.. So hats off to NIKE for making sure there is something for everyone.. Right?

Well Tanya continues in her article by saying..

I would never want a woman to hate herself for what she finds in the looking-glass. But to have control over your body you must first know it; to be oblivious is not to be happy, unless you are a child. The fat-acceptance movement, which says that any weight is healthy if it is yours, is no friend to women, even if it does seem to have found a friend in Nike. It may, instead, kill them, and that is rather worse than feeling sad. Fat-acceptance is an artifice of denial – they are fat because they do not accept themselves – and a typically modern solution to a problem, if you are a narcissist. It says: there is no problem. Or if there is, it’s yours, not mine. As soothing as that may be to hear, your organs and your skeleton will not agree.”

Oh.. Some more from Tanya’s article..

The word “fat” should not be a slur. But it should be a warning. So, it worries me to see Nike, who promote athleticism, treating the obese model as potentially healthy in the cause of profit. It is as cruel as telling women that the child ballet dancer and the porn body are ideal. Where is the body shape between the tiny and the immense, which is where true health lives? Where is the ordinary, medium, contented woman? Where, oh where, is the middle ground?”

Hold on, Hold on, Hold on..

I’m confused.. if someone is going into NIKE (My Yoga pants were £48, they’re not going there to waste money) They’re going in for a reason. How exactly do you expect people to lose weight and work out without gym clothes? What do you want them to do? Work out at home? Hide away? Not work out? I’m confused, is anyone above a size 10 not allowed to wear gym clothes anymore? What is advertised on that model and mannequin is Gym Clothing.

So Tanya what exactly were you attempting to achieve from your article? Your body shaming women if they’re above a size 12, You’re having ago at NIKE and shaming them for finally having some Gym Clothing that can fit Plus sized people so they can go to the gym – be healthier and feel better about themselves and maybe even lose weight whilst they’re there.

All Tanya’s article has done is shown what a massive hypocrite she is – She is body and “fat” shaming larger women.. and also shaming a huge company for making sure that there is gym clothing that could help ALL women feel comfortable in the gym?

Find me any other brand that openly promotes sizes to fit all – and not just models that look like they’ve already lived in the gym for the last year or 2?

It’s a no win situation here..

I HATE going to the gym, I find it absolutely terrifying especially because it’s so easy to think that everyones looking at you even if they aren’t..

I’m so disappointed in Tanya’s article and even the fact that The Telegraph thought it was acceptable to post.. AND The fact it’s even written by a women, for some reason makes me even more annoyed and I find it even worse.

Body positivity is something I strongly believe in, maybe more than most as a someone recovering from an ED.

Plus it’s 2019 – We should be celebrating the beauty in everybody.

Here’s Tanya’s full article – https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/obese-mannequins-selling-women-dangerous-lie/

And heres Rebecca Reid’s article – a come back to Tanya’s and something that should actually be posted – https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/exercise-isnt-just-thin-people-nikes-obese-mannequins-inspirational/?li_source=LI&li_medium=li-recommendation-widget 

What are your thoughts?

Bees xo 

I am unfortunately all Panic and no Disco..

I’ve said it before; and i’ll say it again.. Don’t treat yourself worse than you would treat a best friend.
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Long time no blog post right? Welcome back to my little corner of the internet.

Between work, illness, change (we all know I don’t like change) and just being ridiculously busy – It’s time for some “ME” time and some time to focus on myself and things i like doing – which is my blog.

Sometimes when people ask me what i’m doing today, on my day off and I reply “nothing” it doesn’t mean i’m free. It means i’m having a me day, and i’m doing nothing.

I’ve had a really rocky few months since Christmas with lots of huge changes and theres people i’m close to that have absolutely no idea and half of me likes it that way; the other half? I’m not so sure..
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I was sat in hospital on Wednesday having what felt like 5334 tests and thinking “Me a year ago would be sat here with my MacBook blogging. Not sitting here wasting my time scrolling through Instagram”.
As much as I LOVE Instagram I find myself wasting so much time on it watching things that are totally irrelevant that I won’t even remember in 24 hours. Plus it’s only natural to judge yourself when looking on instagram at all the “perfect profiles” which can sometimes make you feel worse than you already do..

Anyway, without getting even more sidetracked..

So!..Lets talk about ANXIETY.

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It’s 2019 and it feels as though every mum, dad, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, cousin thats been twice removed, dog, cat and tortoise has been “Diagnosed” with Anxiety.. But how many of them actually have?

Probably a lot.. Lets be honest. Things have changed from 5 years ago to now massively. You judge yourself every chance you get, more people are stressing at School, Uni and Work and Basically what is screwing us up the most is the picture in our head of how life is supposed to be.

Anxiety isn’t feeling a little nervous about something, or being a little worried.. Anxiety is simply.. Horrible.
Simply is definitely the wrong word to use here, as Anxiety is anything but simple..

When I was diagnosed with anxiety I laughed at my doctor. Me? The person that can stand in front of 2000 people on stage.. Anxious? Not a chance, it’s got to be something else.. Right?

Then the feelings came out more, the lack of sleep, the insomnia, I don’t think many people understand – You can be the most confident person in the world, but anxiety is still very real. Everyone has different ways of dealing with anxiety – I scratch my hand or fiddle with something like a bobble on my wrist or play with my hair.
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Anxiety is like a cycle –

  1. Anxious Mess
  2. Therapy and Self Care
  3. Hey! I’m feeling pretty okay actually!
  4. Wait, I’m feeling too good.. This is suspicious..
  5. Something terrible is going to happen.. Any. Minute. NOW..
  6. …And then we’re back to “Anxious Mess” at number one.
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Anxiety comes in so many different forms. Do you know if your closest friends and people you see daily have anxiety? It’s not just being a little nervous about something, it could be:

  • Cancelling plans at the last minute.
  • Believing they are a burden to everyone
  • Eating all the time or not at all
  • Mood swings that could last hours, or even days
  • Being emotionally distant
  • Constantly needing reassurance that they are still loved or haven’t “messed anything up”
  • Isolating themselves to protect others.
  • Frequent crying or melt downs
  • Having an outburst over something others may consider to be “small”.
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How can you recognise Anxiety in yourself? This can be really difficult but a few signs are:

  • Over thinking
  • avoidance
  • sweating
  • stomach issues
  • panic attacks
  • Needing reassurance
  • Procrastination
  • Trouble breathing
  • Headaches
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Insomnia
  • Memory Issues

But more common signs of Anxiety could be – 

  • Feeling nervous, restless or tense
  • Having a sense of danger or panic
  • Having an increased heart rate
  • Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Feeling weak or tired
  • Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry.
  • Having trouble sleeping
  • Having difficulty controlling worry
  • Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety.

Plus did you know Several types of anxiety disorders exist? It isn’t that if you have anxiety, you’re the exact same as the girl down the street with it too. Theres so many different types..:

  • Agoraphobia
  • Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition
  • Generalized anxiety disorder
  • Panic disorder
  • Selective mutism
  • Separation anxiety disorder
  • Social anxiety disorder (social phobia)
  • Specific phobias
  • Substance-induced anxiety disorder
  • Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder

Enough with the bullet points.. RIGHT?! Well, Nearly!

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After Christmas and during Easter I was at my absolutely worst. Confused and pretty much lost, with a constant fear of getting replaced. I lost friends including one of my best friends and i’m pretty sure they have no idea. I guess thats life though isn’t it? You grow apart from people, it’s normal – but how normal is normal?
I hadn’t slept in 5 days, only got up for work and spent the rest of my time in bed or out keeping myself busy.  After getting to 7 days with 4 hours sleep I went back to the doctor about other health problems (again coming in a new post) and he re-diagnosed me with severe anxiety. Nothing had changed, not really? I’d dropped some people that were making no effort with me, realised other people weren’t worth my time and then realised that this was it – How could I spend time with people and like people if I didn’t even Like myself?

So last week, I threw myself into work, went for walks, put my phone down more, did things I wanted to do and it helped massively. I didn’t want any other medication that would make me feel like a zombie – everyone has ways of dealing with stuff and this wasn’t mine.

  • Exercise. Exercise is one of the most important things you can do to combat stress.
  • Get a diary.
  • Make a routine.
  • Consider Supplements.
  • Light a Candle.
  • Reduce Your Caffeine Intake.
  • Write It Down.
  • Chew Gum.
  • Spend Time With Friends and Family.
  • Laugh.
  • Cuddle.
  • Learn a New Hobby or Class.
  • Learn to avoid procrastination.
  • And what I think is most important, personally:
  • Learn to Say “NO!”

  • Not all stressors are within your control, but some are.
  • Take control over the parts of your life that you can change and are causing you stress or pain.
  • One way to do this may be to say “no” more often.
  • This is especially true if you find yourself taking on more than you can handle, as juggling too many responsibilities can leave you feeling overwhelmed.
  • Being selective about what you take on and reduce your stress levels.
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Heres a few of my favourite Instagram profiles when i’m having an off day –

@Wonderful_u 
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@Wonderful_u – Meg is amazing, she does daily stories on her instagram and involves her two puppies Rue and Murphie. She is always really positive and an amazing person to follow. She’s really down to earth and her instagram proves she’s a normal person not your usual Instagrammer that pretends to lead their perfect life too fool everyone. Meg is genuine and lovely.

@CGBlackburn
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@CGBlackburn – Chloe’s a make-up artist, I know right? Just hear me out – She’s not your usual instagram makeup artist – She’s amazing! Chloe runs events to help raise awareness for mental health. She’s constantly on instagram regardless of having a full time job as a MUA and is always so positive – plus she’s obsessed with Harry Potter… So thats always an extra winner right? She’s an amazing and down to earth person to follow.

@BeckyExcell 
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@BeckyExcell – Becky is a gluten free food blogger that creates recipes and loves to travel. There’s been a few times i’ve been too nervous to travel or even eat – and i’ve flicked through her instagram and it’s really helped!

@Alyserurianidesign
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@Alyserurianidesign – Someone else had posted Alyse’s designs from their own account so i’ve only just started to follow her personally pretty recently. She does drawings and illustrations for mental health awareness and her designs are amazing. Check her out!

These 4 won’t disappoint!

We’re coming to the end of the post now – so i’ll finally shut up – but honestly, If you’re feeling anxious go see a doctor, I learnt the hard way – This doesn’t make you weak this makes you stronger. And Sometimes, self-care is giving yourself permission to have a bad day.

And if the price is your health? Don’t do it. I learnt this the hard way too.

“Never give up on someone with a mental illness. When “I” Is replaced by “WE” Illness becomes Wellness. – Shannon L. Alder.

Here’s a question – have you checked in with your loved ones lately? 

Bees xo 

 

10 Fuss-Free Gluten Free Brunch Ideas.

 

It’s hump day! Which means it’s 3 more sleeps until the weekend and i’m already counting down to a lazy weekend eating brunch and only leaving the house to get more food! 

Stuck for brunch ideas? Here’s a few of my favourites – 

1. One Pot Eggs – Jazz up your eggs with a solo brunch recipe, all in one-pot. From eggs with cheese and ham to chilli and avocado and my favourite – baked eggs with bacon, sausage, tomato mushroom & Beans! (No Mushrooms for me, we all knows i think they’re the devils food..) .. It’s so easy and it’s done in one pan so saves mess!

 

2. Breakfast wraps – Everything you put in a sandwich can go in a wrap – it’s the logic of life in 2019..

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3. Pancakes – they’re so easy to cook and theres so excuse when again – they can all be done in one bowl.

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4. French Toast – It’s basically eggy bread with some cinnamon, syrup and fruit – again, one of my favourites!

 

5. Full English Croissants – As above – if it goes in a wrap it can go in a Croissant too! Try our epic breakfast croissant recipe packed with super crispy bacon, baked beans and runny fried eggs. The perfect indulgent weekend treat!

6. Waffles – With Fruit, Bacon, Syrup, Ice Cream – Waffles go with everything!

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7. Bagels – Breakfast bagels are the one – one of my favourite go to’s in the morning. I much prefer bagels to normal gluten free bread as they keep their texture and crunch.

 

8. Fry up! – Lets be honest – nothing beats a full english breakfast does it?

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9. ANYTHING on Toast – always an easy and quick idea.

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10. And finally – if you’re in a rush, just stick to a standard bacon sandwich – quick, easy & simple!

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What are you eating this weekend? Let me know!

Bees xo 

5 Things I’ve Learnt About Friendship.

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I make mistakes – I am not, and have never claimed to be the perfect friend or person.

This week I can openly admit i’ve ran away 150+ miles from confrontation, awkwardness and situations I simply do not want or wish to be in.

The last 12 months have pushed me beyond anything i’ve experienced before, with a change of jobs, health, personal reasons etc – and I can honestly say and I am sad to admit that i’ve let people down in that time. Some friendships have changed and become stronger, some have gone and won’t be returning and some probably could be fixed with effort from both parties.

Just before Christmas I left my job to start a new chapter and to work for myself full time & I joined another team in a similar industry to what my full time job was – but part time, and I honestly couldn’t be happier.

I now work for myself full time as a hairdresser, beautician and make-up artist. In January and over Christmas i was really scared about building a client base etc – but i’ve been so busy and i’m finally really enjoying myself and i keep asking myself why I didn’t do this sooner.

It’s crazy to say it, but in the last 2-3 months i’ve grown up more than i have in the last 6 years and i’ve realised a lot – and sadly some of the things i’ve realised falls under categories of losing friends and giving up on people – something i’ve always taken pride in myself on never doing before now.

Here’s 5 things i’ve learnt about friendship in the last few months. 

  1. Boundaries are important – I’ve realised more now than before, It’s okay to say no.
    Just because I have my kit with me – this doesn’t mean i want to cut your hair or do your brows unpaid after my dinner. Don’t get me wrong, theres exceptions (like my sister in law living 50+ miles away, I WANT to do her nails on a Sunday, or my mom needing a trim, or even my niece and nephews)  but everyone deserves a switch off time. How would you feel if I started asking you to work for free straight after a meal, or if i’ve come to your house to chill, or for a week away – and you’re diving into my kit to use it OR making me feel awkward for saying no to doing your make-up for you – It’s my job, it’s my trade – you don’t work 24 hours a day, so why should I?
  2. Trust and Competition –
    Trust – I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am very gullible – I will always trust someones intentions from the get go. Seeing the good in people makes me happy and for the most part it always ends up okay. However, on a fair few occasions, i’ve put my trust in the wrong people. Not everyone has as much honesty as you and failing to see this at the start does not make you a bad person – it makes you human. It can hurt to to realise someone isn’t in it for the same reasons you are,  but for me the answer will never be to put a wall up, it will be to learn that some people don’t have the same kind of heart as you do – and thats okay… but once the trust is gone, it could well be gone for good.
    Competition – Competition is healthy, bragging how much better your life is then your friends is not. Don’t be a dick – it really isn’t hard.
  3. The Unsaid will always be in the back of your mind – Blood really is thicker than water. You can think someone has your back and is out to help you, but when you leave or stop seeing these people, it’s very easy to see you were there for one reason and one reason only – because you were useful to them. Always remember 9/10 times you’re replaceable – so put yourself first. People will be your ‘best friend’ until you’re replaced or until they don’t need you anymore. 9/10 times people are out for themselves – as soon as they don’t need stuff that benefits them or free stuff from you – they’ll forget to invite you to things and use an excuse that it’s everyone else’s fault.. Bin these people.
  4. Learn to manage yourself – I am stubborn, Strong willed and i like to always be right – This doesn’t always go well and I can come across as a bitch. I’ve learnt to try to explain situations and hearing both sides before getting upset and going OTT on someone and hopefully we can find a middle ground. This doesn’t always work – sometimes it’s easier to walk away and ghost someone. This isn’t “childish” it’s thinking about the situation and giving it a few days. Sometimes this can hurt the other person even more – never ignore someone and make sure people know you’re here for them even when you’re ghosting them. No one deserves to be alone.
  5. Friendship is not about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it. – That explains itself really doesn’t it? I’ve got friends i’ve known my entire life that I wouldn’t replace for the world – and i’ve also got friends i’ve known a few months that are now more like family to me then friends i’ve been close to for 6+ years. It really is quality over quantity..

I never thought i’d say it, but sometimes new starts really are for the best. Theres no rule that says if you walk away from a friendship you’re a bad person – Friendships have ups and downs – life isn’t simple. We all do things we shouldn’t and we all wonder how things could have been better or gone differently. We don’t need to spend time day dreaming when actually, things could just be better right now. Friendships are born from so many different circumstances and they’re really not ALL meant to last – You deserve the happiness you want.

Bees xo